


Again

by Maity



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Car Ride, F/F, No actual ending (SORRY) Will leave you hanging forever, Panic Attack, Reader discretion is advised 100x, no happy ending, rainy day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-12 23:50:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16005869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maity/pseuds/Maity
Summary: SaHyo break up





	Again

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any typos and/or grammatical errors if there are any. Sorry for leaving it like this D:

The car ride to their apartment was silent, more muffled voices and static radio sounds than actual silence. Breathing sounds louder than usual. They aren't doing anything, but for some reason it just seems so much louder and Jihyo's heart seems to want to pound its way out of her chest. It's not completely silent, but it's starting to ring loud in Jihyo's ears. Thankfully, Sana makes the first move to out them from the awkwardness.

"So,..what are you planning to do?"

Jihyo snapped out of her thoughts that were slowly sending her to panic and breakdown. The rain falling on the windshield confuses her for a moment. What was she doing? 

"Uhh. I..I don't know...." 

Jihyo replies to Sana, throat dry and painful, big wide eyes starting to water and nose starting to run as she tries her best not to start crying. This probably isn't the time to. She clears her throat before proceeding.

"What about you?......What are you gonna do?"

Damn. Her throat really hurts now and her eyes stinging. This isn't what she had planned for today at all. The view outside starts to blur, everything she looks at starts to blur. She really can't do this right now.

"I think we should...yknow...."

 

Shit.

 

"Do you want to?"

"I think we should.."

 

Fuck. Fuck, fuck.

 

"But do you want to?"

"Yes....maybe...I don't know..."

Jihyo forcefully closes her eyes and her tears fall on her cheeks down to her shirt. Her head now bowed down. She's embarrased, but she can't act like this is nothing, like what they decided to have 8 years ago was nothing. This was the thing that they talked about years back, back when movie dates and sleepovers were new ideas for their fuck-it lists. This was the thing and it still is, but maybe only to one of them, maybe only to Jihyo. 

Sana sees a spot and parks beside a sidewalk. Leaving the car and the windshield wipers on. Jihyo wants to turn it off so no one outside can see her cry, but she can't talk right now. It all feels very numb, pins and needles to the point that it starts to gradually hurt more and even more. Sana sighs in the car, big, but careful and knowing that what she's going to do is going to hurt Jihyo more.

"You know we can't do this anymore, Jihyo."

Jihyo doesn't want to talk. She's numb, but it also hurts too much all over and she doesn't want to talk. She doesn't know what to do right now except cry and slowly, silently panic in her seat. And she hates it. She hates how it's like this, how she's like this. Sana grabs Jihyo's hand that's on her lap and squeezes it to assure that everything's gonna be okay, maybe.

"Jihyo...."

"I need to..uh...I need to go somewhere. I can't do this right now."

"Jihyo, we have t-"

"Sana, please! Shut the fuck up!"

Sana closed her mouth to a silent shock, giving Jihyo some space. 

Jihyo feels like she's gonna shut down and collapse anytime. Her breathing is heavy, feels like a room with all four walls closing in on her, crushing her bones to pieces and slowly eating her whole. She's terrified, she's freaking out, and she can't do anything about it. And she hates it. So. Much. She wants to die, but she's panicking at the thought of dying. She doesn't know what to do. 

Outside, she appears very quiet. Sana barely sees the inner turmoil and ruins, but of the 8 years they've spent together, she knows. She does and she can only think of one thing to do.

"..I'll be out until you feel better, okay?"

Sana opens the door and gets out of the car. She's calm and worried at the same time, but it just shows how many times they've actually had this happen. The same thing happens ever so often. Happens again and again. But it's a little bit different today. It's a bit much, too much. Panic and pain mixed together. 

Jihyo comes to her senses slowly, her breathing and heartbeats steadily normalizing. She realizes that it happened again. The same stupid attack again. She wishes it would just go away. 

Moments after she looks out the window and sees Sana standing outside beside a parking sign and she's wet because of the rain. Jihyo immediately stretches over and opens the door to the driver's seat, feeling bad, but calmed down now.

"Sorry.."

"It's okay. It's not your fault."

Sana hurries and enters the car with her hair and dress soaked. Jihyo grabs her bag and looks for something to dry Sana with. She feels so bad now. This is all her fault. Because of her stupid problems. She wants to cry again, but she thinks she's done enough of that today. 

"It's not your fault, okay?"

Sana turns to Jihyo to reassure her that she meant what she said, and she does. She always has everytime this happens. And Jihyo is so grateful to her for that. She found someone who understood her everytime she needed someone to understand her, to be her best friend, her support. That's probably why it hurt a million times more than losing a job or losing her past lovers. 

Sana starts to feel chilly, shaking and teeth chattering as she speaks.

"Let's...go home for now."

"....Okay."


End file.
